We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
