I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
