I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
