we're chasing vodka with high fives
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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