I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
