can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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