you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
