Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
