spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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