She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
