i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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