we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My dick has a subreddit
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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