didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
