Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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