i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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