I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
