And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
