i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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