I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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