If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize