i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize