if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
