Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I will pee on everything he values.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
