can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Boobs speak an international language.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
