My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
