I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
