Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My ass is underappreciated
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
