i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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