First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
