the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize