No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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