the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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