Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
