Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
