I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize