I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
