He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
