My hand turned me down
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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