How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
