weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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