wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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