The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
