do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
