there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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