this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
