She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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