Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize