Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
