when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
