I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
