I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize