Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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