Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
