My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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