We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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