I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
