he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
