I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize