And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
