I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
