Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
