Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize