sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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