He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
