my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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