god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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