Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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